blue

all the baking and busy and shopping and fierce intense face-down
in cookbooks will not
make this 1982
will not allow me to climb that plane, live on that
wavelength where all the past and present are future are in a line and you know they
are all one, all now, all to come, all in the past.

my poor limited logical brain knows
knows too much
knows too well
knows that I am not 12, that santa is not
poised over mexico
that a magical entry to a new world is not
wrapped in tinsel under my tree
that the six faces that go with this date
this night
are not here

won't be here

today is just a day

a post-solstice step along the way, crawling back toward sunshine.
That too, shall come
This too, shall pass.