the cold

Today the hard sun tricked me
With his golden smile and I,
Beguiled, ran to his warmth
But found instead
A chill to the bones, a hard
Wind round my head.

Hopes of spring thus dashed,
I, spent, luxurious in
Disappointment and dread,
Sat and rested, against an
Oak, leafless, dead,

And wished for a blanket,
Thick and soft, a
Duvet filled with down,and
Bubble wrap, pulled round
To soundproof my rumbling
Heart and warm my cold, cold
Love, that,
Rejected by the sun,
Now lay in my belly,
Weighing a stationary tonne.

waves

Some days, a sophisticated
Stranger
Sneers at me in the mirror,
"Pathetic girl.

Romance is
Dead,
You killed it,
And there is no CPR now
That will bring you
Safe strong arms and
Flowers at work.

You leapt from that boat,
Drawn by the swell and call
Of the dangerous ocean,
So surf,
Or swim,
And stop complaining.

Or crawl to land and give up."

ferocious

The ferret explores by first
Filing what-is-food and
What-is-not-food, and
To this end, tastes
Everything
Bites everything,
Draws blood
Just to see.

Wise ferret.
Full moon, and now I
Explore,

Your fingers entwined in my hair,
Sharp teeth and
Fierce need, and
I submit
Again and
Again.

Master me.

Those leather and wooden snakes
That undulate like the real thing,
I am that stealthy.

Sliding up beside
Your regular tea and
Cell phone,
Slipping onto your key ring,
And then next to your morning alarm.

Soon, I will disappear and you will
Miss me
Everywhere.

This day is a quiet bead

I don't need to fall apart today,
I think I'll be ok, rolling hills on the chart,
Not sharp peaks and jagged valleys.

I will not invent a new way to explore my mind
And odds are I won't write a book
Perhaps my chief achievement today will be a really good
Cup of tea and to pat a friend on the back.

Every day does not have to be purple.

I won't count this as a day that slipped
Off the string and fell into the dust, losing its
Glitter forever. I will count this as a
Matte bead, spacing out the dazzling ones
to better show them off.

next day

Morning after,
and at work, the
Cold tea calms my cough.

I focus on the screen,
Absently touching
My neck and shoulders,
gently poking till
I find a sore spot,
A bruise.

Then I
Remember
In a rush that
Makes me smile,
Flush,
Close my eyes
For a split second.

The rain reminds me to get
Back to work.

November

Pulled into a ball, in the corner,
Lap opened only for the cat, who
Does not stay.
I pull it around me tighter, this
Loneliness, wear it
Like a scarf,
Like armour,
Like a cloaking device.

Look through me, I
Am not here.
All that I was is gone,
And this dustball that is left
Will soon tumble away
With the next inconsequential breeze.